


Two Wrongs Make a Right

by obiwanheda



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Post-Battle of Scarif, Sex, Trauma, Trust Issues, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, sassy medical droids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 07:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13899555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obiwanheda/pseuds/obiwanheda
Summary: It had been several weeks since Jyn had woken up in the medbay after Scarif and if she didn’t find herself in Cassian’s bed in the middle of the night, she imagined she’d go insane.(She never took that risk, though.)





	Two Wrongs Make a Right

**Author's Note:**

  * For [youareiron_andyouarestrong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/youareiron_andyouarestrong/gifts).



> Super belated rebelcaptain secret Valentine gift. I've never written a prompt before and it was supposed to be a 1K drabble that turned into a 4.5K oneshot. I hope you like it!

 

It had been several weeks since Jyn had woken up in the medbay after Scarif and if she didn’t find herself in Cassian’s bed in the middle of the night, she imagined she’d go insane.

(She never took that risk, though.)

\---

At first, it was bearable to be alone. The drugs made her drowsy and the pain in her leg consumed most of her thoughts in her fleeting moments of consciousness.

“Cassian?” Jyn croaked out, struggling to open her eyes. The last thing she remembered was holding Cassian’s limp body in a dimly lit Imperial ship as they made their escape off Scarif.

A medical droid busy fiddling with something on her leg only replied, “He’s healing.”

_He survived. Thank the Force._

“Where? Is he okay?” she demanded, forcing herself upright, unfastening several bandages in the process. She could have sworn she heard the droid tut in disapproval.

“That is _classified_ information,” the droid replied flatly, triggering Jyn to huff in frustration.

_Don’t they know what they had been through? How they clutched to each other in almost certain death?_

She silently scolded herself for feeling unsatisfied with the droid’s vague answer and could practically hear Saw’s voice nag her on the impracticality of attachment.

But everything seemed _different_ now, anyways. More accurately, _she_ felt different.

There was an overwhelming sadness that left her exposed and raw. Perhaps the hollowness she felt in her chest was survivor's guilt. Or maybe it was because the events on Jedha, Eadu and Scarif were too much for one person to bear alone.

Or maybe it was something softer.

\---

As soon as her leg was stable (well, stable _enough_ ), she found him.

She didn’t have many visitors; Mon Mothma and General Draven had informed her that they intended to keep the news of her and Cassian’s survival temporarily under wraps to protect the location of the Rebel base in what Mothma referred to as, “this critical hour”.

While pre-Scarif Jyn Erso would have actively preferred the solitude, Jyn found herself terrified by the fact that isolation only contributed to her discontentment.

Aside from the odd visit with Mothma, the 2-1B medical droid assigned to Jyn was the only conversation available to her (not that Jyn was one for small talk). 2-1B didn’t like her –  that much was clear. She fussed too much, picked at her scabs and refused to adhere to any medical direction.

So, there was no damage done to their relationship when she threatened to overload his capacitors if he didn’t take her to Cassian one afternoon.

2-1B didn’t bother warning Jyn to be careful of her injured leg, nor did he seem to mind her obvious discomfort as she swung herself off the bed and began to tentatively put weight on her it.  Once standing, she stared at the idle 2-1B expectantly.

“Don’t think I won’t do it,” she threatened, pointing a bandaged finger at the droid, which prompted him to open the door and escort Jyn out.

Jyn’s eyes widened as she stepped outside of her room for the first time since she arrived nearly a week prior. The air in medbay smelled strongly of sweat and exhaust fumes as members of the Alliance were darting frantically around the base.

“Think we can get close enough to the reactors?” Jyn overheard one pilot ask his friend.

“Too late to turn back now,” the other man replied matter-of-factly.

_Reactors? Were they going after the Death Star? Now?_

Jyn had half a mind to go up to the two pilots and ask what exactly was going on, but the distance between her and 2-1B was increasing and she began to lose sight of the droid in the crowd. She grunted in pain and picked up her pace, struggling to keep up. If there was a plan to destroy the Death Star, she was sure she’d find out eventually.

2-1B came to an abrupt halt and pointed a mechanical finger.

“He’s down that hall and to three doors to the left,” he noted before turning around. “And your leg is bleeding,” he observed distantly, casually walking away.

She grumbled an apology as she began to make her way down the hall. When she arrived at the room, she clumsily fell on the control that opened the door and stumbled inside, desperate to lean on some support and relieve the pressure on her injury.

Her discomfort was momentarily forgotten as emotions flooded her senses upon seeing Cassian. He looked tranquil – younger, Jyn thought absentmindedly as she walked closer. He lay motionless on a small bed, hooked up to various monitors that were simultaneously beeping around him. He had adopted an ashen complexion with beads of sweat lining his brow and his breathing was rasped and laboured. Jyn instinctively reached out to smooth down his hair.

She hoisted herself onto the edge of his bed and took his hand, half-thankful that he wasn’t awake to witness her vulnerability. She fidgeted uncomfortably, unsure of what to say.

“They say that you’ll be okay,” she began, awkwardly. _Even with broken ribs and vertebrae, severe internal bleeding and a blaster wound that should have killed you..._

A pause.

“…Can he hear me?” Jyn looked up suddenly, addressing the medical droid on the opposite side of his bed.

“Unlikely. He is in an induced state of stasis while his body heals. He will require additional bacta treatments while his body repairs itself.”

“Will he be okay?”

“The odds are favourable,” the droid replied.

Jyn looked back down at Cassian and offered a small smile.

 _Just in case you need company as much as I do,_ Jyn thought as she settled in.

“I haven’t really spoken to anyone since I woke up, you know.”

\---

And so, the routine continued.

Each day Jyn would wander out of her room to sit by Cassian’s side, and each night Mon Mothma or the medical droids would usher her back to her room when Cassian was due for further bacta treatments.

She was restless by herself. She’d wake up hoarse from screaming, still able to feel the heat of the Death Star’s blast on Scarif and still bracing for the city to crumble away, taking her and Cassian with it. She dreamt of their escape, of when she had clutched her kyber crystal with bloody knuckles and cradled Cassian’s unconscious form in her lap while their rescuers made the jump to hyperspace.

Each night she nearly lost Cassian and each night Jyn found herself less willing to sleep.

\---

Following another week of treatment, 2-1B _insisted_ that Jyn be discharged from the medbay, citing her midnight wanderings as evidence of her improved health.

She was sure that there would be an evaluation that decided her future, not exactly confident that she’d be well-received on base. She _did_ directly disobey orders, steal a ship _and_ one of their best captains. Not exactly reliable soldier material.

“You’ll be bunking with another sergeant if you choose to stay,” Mothma announced.

“You’re offering me a place?” Jyn reiterated, unable to hide her shocked expression.

Mothma only smiled kindly in response.

-

It didn’t take her long to fall into a routine.

She attended training sessions, ate meals and frequented intelligence meetings like any ordinary member of the Alliance who joined on ordinary terms. She impressed herself by even socialising a bit, joining a group of pilots for each meal.

But for the better part of the day, she remained devoted by Cassian’s bedside. She couldn’t explain it (and trying to explain it would be something she wasn’t quite ready for) but being in his presence made her feel less... _damaged_. Even if he wasn’t exactly conscious.

Jyn figured it was a coping mechanism.

\---

“The Captain is awake,” a protocol droid informed Jyn one morning before training exercises began, causing her to nearly choke on her breakfast.

She threw the rest of her meal down, leaving a bewildered Shara Bey to clean up after her.

She skidded through hallways, unable to walk at a normal pace, and was breathless by the time she arrived.

Cassian was sat upright, the monitors that surrounded him were silenced. His facial hair had been tidied, although his hair had yet to be trimmed and was dishevelled from sleep.

His eyes lit up as she walked through the door.

“Jyn,” he smiled. “You’re okay.”

“You’re awake,” she beamed in response, pausing momentarily by the door.

“Just barely,” he chuckled.

In the absence of any seats, she flopped down on the edge of the cot.

“Did any others...?” he asked hesitantly, confident he already knew the answer.

Jyn shook her head. “Just us.”

He frowned and nodded, processing the information.

“I backed Kaytoo’s programming up some time ago. He won’t have any memories, but we can get him up to speed.”

_We._

Jyn offered a supportive smile.

“And the Death Star?” Cassian asked, wincing as he adjusted his position.

“Gone. The Alliance destroyed it a few days after we got back from Scarif,” she replied, still captivated by every movement, word and breath that Cassian drew.

Cassian exhaled a short laugh in relief. “Not all bad news then. How long have I been in here?” he asked, gesturing to his surroundings.

“ _Here_ is Hoth,” Jyn clarified. “And you’ve been here for a few weeks now.”

“Weeks?” Cassian repeated, dumbfounded. “You… stayed then? With the Rebellion?”

 _Out of all the things she had told him in the past minute_ this _was what surprised him the most?_

Jyn grinned. “Yeah, I figured they might need some help.”

He opened his mouth as if to reply but was interrupted by the door opening. A soldier who couldn’t be older than sixteen entered.

“Sergeant Erso,” he spoke, prompting Jyn to stand to attention. “Draven requests your audience. Report for duty in the hangar bay.”

“Yes, sir,” Jyn replied as the soldier turned to exit just as swiftly as he had entered.

“Duty?” Cassian questioned once alone.

“They’ve been mentioning a possible mission for a while now. Something about meeting a contact on Coruscant,” Jyn replied, not quite paying attention to Cassian’s distressed expression, still enchanted by him – _alive_ – in front of her.

“So, you’ll be leaving?”

“I shouldn’t be gone for more than a few weeks,” Jyn assured, said suddenly aware of the consequences of her departure.

Cassian’s expression fell as he nodded in acknowledgement.

“Of course,” he said forcing a pleased expression for her benefit.

Jyn’s felt her own smile waning. She swallowed, suddenly feeling self-conscious. She stood lamely at his bedside, unsure of what to say.  Impulsively, she grabbed his hand. His whole body tensed at her touch and Jyn was struck the possibility that their connection on Scarif was fuelled by adrenaline and the possibility of certain death. She began to withdraw, only to be pulled back by Cassian as he hastily reached out and clasped her hand.

Jyn felt her breath hitch.

Cassian’s expression did not falter. His eyes remained locked in front of him, averting eye contact, while he secured his grip and intertwined their fingers.

They remained paralysed for several moments.

Jyn felt her chest tighten. “I need to go,” she said in way of an apology, gently withdrawing her hand. “I will see you before I leave though.”

She moved towards the door without looking back.

\---

Jyn was due to leave at sunrise.

She _just_ got Cassian back.

Her feet padded along the empty hallway as she made her way to Cassian’s room. Most of the base was asleep. It was late – possibly too late for her to be visiting him.

It was dark in his room, but she entered anyways. Even with the absence of light, she felt his gaze on her as she stepped closer.

“Sorry I’m late,” she announced softly, leaning against his bed.

“Draven’s meetings drag on,” Cassian replied. “Sorry my droid turned off the lights.”

“At least yours cares about you,” she laughed. “Mine tried to have me discharged for _insubordination_ while I was still receiving bacta treatments.”

“Can’t imagine what you did to deserve that,” Cassian responded, obviously amused.

“It was probably the threat to overload his capacitors if he didn’t take me to see you,” she replied coyly.

The statement hung in the air, obviously catching Cassian off-guard and Jyn second-guessed her attempt at humour.

Several moments passed before he wordlessly edged to the side, making room for her body to join him on the small cot. She tentatively complied, sliding under a thin sheet. He wrapped an arm around her, prompting her to press herself close and keep from falling off the narrow frame.

They lie there for a few moments, both unsure what to say.

Propping herself up on an elbow, Jyn studied his face letting her eyes adjust to the dark.

“Jyn,” he murmured, breaking the silence.

She smiled affectionately. “I thought I lost you.”

He replied by brushing his thumb across her cheek and she felt her breath hitch. When she didn’t flinch, he lifted his head slightly, allowing their lips to meet.

It was tentative at first, both unsure of themselves. But each kiss was steadier and deeper than the last.

Jyn eagerly ran her hands down his arms and straddled her leg over his hip, desperate to be closer to him. He grabbed her thigh in response, pulling her body to his. She took the opportunity to position herself on top of him.

Cassian placed his hands on either of her hips and sat upright. She hung her head back, exposing her neck and ran her fingers through his hair.

She pulled away for a moment, locking eyes with Cassian. He responded with a lopsided smile and Jyn found herself unable to suppress a teasing grin before leaning back in to kiss him.

There was only one way this was going.

Jyn placed a hand on Cassian’s chest and guided him down to the bed.

\---

It was nearly sunup and Draven would be expecting her to give her a final briefing, but Jyn couldn’t help but want to curl up and enjoy the fleeting moment of contentment (if contentment existed in a medbay cot).

She went to nudge Cassian awake but hesitated, suddenly feeling an intrusive fear of intimacy creep up. She retracted her hand and slid out of bed, not quite willing to admit the significance of what just happened. Not yet, at least.

But she would be back – she’d come back to him.

\---

Within fourteen days, she was back on Hoth.

Mon Mothma greeted her as soon as she landed, and Jyn spent the majority of her first day back on base reporting the intricacies of her mission to a select few members of the Council.

When she was dismissed, she didn’t bother stopping at her room to throw her bags down; she hurried down the medbay corridor.

She hastily pressed the device to open the door to Cassian’s room, but found the space occupied by an unfamiliar soldier, who, thankfully, wasn’t conscious to see her blunder.

Jyn didn’t bother to hide her disappointment.

-

At dinner, she spotted Cassian across the cafeteria. He was standing in a doorway, his arms folded, in what appeared to be a rather unpleasant conversation with Draven.

Cassian looked healthier, she noted. His hair had been trimmed, the colour returned to his face, and the cuts on his face had healed.

Their eyes met for a fleeting moment and Jyn’s face lit up. She took a few steps in his direction before Draven placed his hand on Cassian’s back and ushered him out of the hall.

She considered following him but thought better of it.

He knew she was back now. He’d find her.

-

On her way back from an intelligence meeting the following day, Jyn passed Cassian in a hallway.

“Cassian!” she greeted, smiling and slowing her pace.

He displayed no indication to pause and only gave her a curt nod before walking briskly past her.

The rejection hit her like a blow to the stomach. But she recognised self-preservation when she saw it.

_He’s shutting me out._

\---

Several days passed before she saw him again.

He was stood by himself in the cantina with a drink in his hand. He looked distant – unphased by the drunken commotion that surrounded him.

“I see that Captain Andor’s back to his usual self,” Shara Bey noted matter-of-factly, joining Jyn and handing her a drink.

“Hm?” Jyn responded, snapping out of her trance.

“The Captain,” Shara repeated, giving her friend a _I-saw-you-just-staring-at-him_ look. “The Council wants him to go undercover, you know,” she informed Jyn, “but I don’t think he’s up for it yet.”

Jyn attempted to swallow her panic.

_He can’t leave._

“Surely he has some say in that?” Jyn replied, taking a sip and glancing back at Cassian.

“What the Council wants the Council gets,” Shara responded. “Come on though, Kes is waiting,” she declared, prompting Jyn to join her.

\---

It wasn’t unusual for Jyn to lie awake at night; she hadn’t slept well in weeks. She expected her mission on Coruscant to _fix_ her, in a sense. She didn’t expect the nightmares to persist while she had a mission, nor did she expect to feel so goddamn _lonely,_ haunted by the glow of the Death Star and the loss of her friends.

 _Not all of them,_ she reminded herself.

She wasn’t sure what the hell she was doing when she entered his quarters that night.

Despite the hour, he was awake. He was sat on the edge of his bed, hunched over with his elbows on his knees, resting his forehead on his hands. He didn’t bother looking up as when she approached his bedside.

And she _really_ wasn’t sure what the hell she was doing when she knelt in front of him.

He looked down at her with hollow eyes that were clearly sleep deprived. She took his hands in hers and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

_You’re not alone._

He brought his head down and pressed his forehead against hers. She closed her eyes and tightened her grip on his hands.

Cassian’s lips parted as if to say something, but he remained silent. She understood – they were too similar for her not to.

Jyn slowly moved her lips in to meet his, not entirely unsurprised that he deepened the kiss.

She reached for his shirt and pulled him towards her, which encouraged Cassian to wrap his hands around her.

It wasn’t romantic, nor was it awkward. It just _happened._

It wasn’t as intimate as their first time - it was rougher, both fighting for a selfish control. The rhythm of their bodies worked in harmony, drowning out white noise and anguish, working together to momentarily forget their trauma and pain.

\---

There was an unspoken acknowledgement between them: they needed each other. Things made more sense when they were together, that much was clear.

So, sleeping with Cassian became a routine.

Jyn never stayed the night – she vanished by the time Cassian woke up.

They never spoke of it. Actually, outside of Cassian’s quarters, they barely spoke to one another at all.

(Jyn convinced herself she was comfortable with that.)

But each night she found her way back to him, and each night she was reminded of how much his presence _healed_ her.

It wasn’t as if she needed him to function, no. She could get by on her own just fine. But at the same time, she couldn’t conjure a single situation that would prevent her from going to him each night.

She didn’t try to understand it.

Maybe it was because he understood her more than anyone had; maybe Scarif and Eadu had just been _too much_ for even Jyn to handle. Or maybe it was because she cared for him.

She pushed that possibility to the back of her mind.

\---

“He doesn’t look _as_ miserable,” Shara noted one evening at dinner. “Less broody.”

“Who?” Jyn feigned ignorance.

Shara ignored the question. “Whatever happened between you two, anyways? Bad breakup?”

Jyn nearly choked.

“Happened to us?” Jyn repeated, hoping to dodge the question.

“When you found out he was awake you nearly threw your breakfast into my lap,” Shara deadpanned. “Now you pretend you don’t know who I’m talking about.”

“He risked everything,” Jyn mumbled in between bites, admitting defeat. “I was just glad he was okay.”

Shara hummed distantly and nodded, entirely unconvinced. Without any hesitation, she pushed her chair out and stood up.

“What are you doing?” Jyn hissed in protest. “Shara!”

But Shara didn’t respond to the warning, already making her way to the other side of the cafeteria where Cassian was sat.

With Shara’s back facing her, Jyn couldn’t quite decipher what sort of conversation her friend had instigated, but after a few moments, Cassian’s eyes glanced past Shara and his gaze fell on Jyn. Whatever she was saying, Cassian looked amused.

They stood up from the table in unison.

_Kriff._

Shara returned to the table with Cassian trailing a step behind.

“I told him to have dinner with us tonight,” Shara proudly announced.

 “Cassian,” Jyn greeted, making a considerable effort to keep her voice level.

“Jyn,” he answered, taking a seat opposite her.

“That’s better,” Shara smirked, turning to face Jyn. “Let’s give you a proper send-off, eh?”

“Is that what this is,” Jyn grumbled, barely audible.

“Send-off?” Cassian interjected in what seemed like polite conversation. (Or what would be polite conversation for two acquaintances looking to make small talk, and not two broken soldiers who happened to sleep together every single night for emotional stability.)

“Our Jyn here has been assigned a pretty hefty mission,” Shara answered.

“You flatter,” Jyn responded dryly.

Cassian nodded slightly.  “Congratulations then. You’ve come a long way from when you first joined.” He had a way of making everything sound so professional and calculated – he was good at this, Jyn noted, half-frustrated with the self-control he possessed.

“You can only go up when you’re brought in on criminal charges,” Jyn replied, matching his tone.

He smiled slightly at that.

Jyn’s attention shifted to a group of ten or so people approaching the table. “Kes!” she grinned. “I didn’t know you’d be back before I left.”

“Hope you have room for a few more then,” Kes Dameron beamed, joining Shara’s side as he and the others swamped the table.

“The more the merrier,” Jyn responded.

“Andor!” Kes exclaimed, suddenly noticing Cassian. “It’s good to see you around. How’ve you been?”

The chatter surrounded Jyn and she smiled, contented with her company.

\---

Jyn retreated to her quarters not long after dinner.

“You’re leaving.”

Jyn turned around, startled to hear Cassian address her.

“Yeah.”

Cassian nodded, and Jyn found herself desperate to read his expression.

“For how long?” he asked.

She struggled to answer him honestly.

“As long as it takes,” she answered eventually.

“Were you going to tell me?”

Jyn froze, feeling his gaze on her from across the room.

“It’s not a big deal,” she replied, resuming packing.

Cassian shifted uncomfortably and paused. “What are we doing, Jyn?” he sighed.

Her shoulders tensed. Kriff, he knew she was rubbish at talking about this. She tapped her finger anxiously on her bag.

“Nothing that can’t be stopped,” Jyn answered stiffly, glancing up from her task. She was surprised to see that Cassian looked like he had the wind knocked out of him.

“Right,” he acknowledged.

Jyn attempted to correct the situation. “I mean, it doesn’t _mean_ anything-”.

“It does to me,” Cassian interrupted.

Jyn felt her mouth fall open.

_Oh._

“I didn’t think –”, she interrupted herself. “I’m not good with this.”

“Neither am I.”

Jyn paused.

She had lost him climbing the Citadel in Scarif.

She had lost him as he drifted into unconsciousness in an Imperial ship as they made their escape.

She had lost him after her return from Coruscant.

She wasn’t going to lose him again.

_Ah, screw it._

“I leave at first light. Come with me,” she said, suddenly aware of how high her voice sounded.

Cassian went wide-eyed and furrowed his brow, puzzled at the request.

“You want me to come with you?” he asked with a ghost of a smile gracing his face.

“You don’t have to, if you-”

“I’ll come.”

Jyn tried to suppress a relieved grin. “Okay.”

Cassian matched her half-smile and cast his eyes down.

“Okay,” he agreed.

There was a pause as they both drew breath, both wanting to fill the silence for the first time in weeks.

“I didn’t know you wanted this,” Jyn confessed. “To talk.”

Cassian swallowed. “You never stayed.”

Jyn’s eyes softened.  “I always came back.”

“When you left, I just thought – _assumed_ – that was all you wanted. Or needed,” Cassian confessed uncomfortably.

 _He thought he was just a means to an end. A coping mechanism._ Jyn’s stomach dropped at the realisation.

“Kriff, no, Cassian!” Jyn gasped. “No- it-” she stammered, “it wasn’t like that at all,” she spluttered. Floundering for words, unable to articulate well – this wasn’t like her. “I couldn’t stay though.”

Cassian raised an eyebrow, encouraging her to elaborate.

“How could I stay?  You never bothered to acknowledge me outside of your bed,” she added, her voice stiff and dripping with bitterness.

“Surely you must know why,” Cassian replied hesitantly.

“No, not really,” Jyn sniffed.

“Kriff, Jyn,” Cassian sighed. “I wanted more than just sex and I wasn’t going to push you away! You – you didn’t need that burden.”

The declaration stunned Jyn and she felt her face flush.

_He thinks his feelings are a burden?_

“If what you need is just _physical,_ that’s fine,” he continued calmly. “I get it. More than you know.” He looked so _broken_ , speaking from a place of acceptance. And what did he mean ‘ _more than you know_ ’?

“I needed _you,_ not _that_ ,” Jyn interjected. “I don’t _want_ to be alone,” she added. “Not anymore. I didn’t sit by your bedside for weeks while you were unconscious _for_ _you_.”

It was the closest to a confession he was going to get right now and judging by his bewildered expression, he knew exactly what she was alluding to.

“Jyn, I –” Cassian stammered.

She interrupted him.

“…We made a mess out of this, didn’t we?”

Cassian exhaled a laugh in response as he stepped forward, closing the distance between them.

“It’s nothing that can’t be fixed,” he said in way of a promise.

Jyn looked up and answered him with a warm smile and placed her arms around his shoulders. He pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead before drawing her into an embrace.

The raw intimacy of the moment ought to have intimidated Jyn. She had kissed him with bruised lips, knew his body more than she knew her own, and had seen him come undone, for kriff’s sake. But there was nothing quite as _soft_ and compassionate as this.

She held him tightly, pressing her head against his chest with a faint smile still etched on her face.

_Welcome home._

 

 


End file.
